| | Subject: | Update? | | Time: | 11:44 pm | | Current Mood: | thankful |
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| | So i've been thinking about updating this boring old thing and maybe puttin some pep into it. So lemme know if i should... | comments: 6 comments or Leave a comment  |
| | Subject: | Me...? | | Time: | 01:44 am | | Current Mood: | bored |
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| Is this really me?..
| DENISE |
| D |
is for |
Daring |
| E |
is for |
Earnest |
| N |
is for |
Neglected |
| I |
is for |
Impassioned |
| S |
is for |
Shocking |
| E |
is for |
Earthy |
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| | So mom and i are flying to GA next sunday. Awesome news. But i have to leave my car here. Can't take it home til its all paid for. Thanks Mr. Asshole car-seller-guy. Well, i finally get to spend some time with my family and get to know them once again. I'm so glad. But i wonder if GA will feel like "home"? Thats a big question. Because now i have to come up with an alternate plan, so i might have to call it home for a little while. Will i have friends and such? Will i have a life? I dunno. But i'm kinda mad mom and i don't get to do our road trip. We were gonna do stops in DE and NC to visit family and friends we haven't seen for years. And i was gonna see my beautiful Ashley and her baby boys. But i guess i'll have to wait a bit longer. Gr. Patience is not my virtue!! But yea. Guess all is well. At least i get to go home now... | comments: Leave a comment  |
| So i don't get a Tiburon. The guy wants $3,000 down. Again, don't have it. What luck I have. I knew it. I had a real breakdown today. It was hilarious, not really, but yea. I completely broke down and really had a good cry. I cried to myself and then to mom. She said everything would be fine, but i highly doubt it. I told her this wouldn't work out and i was right. I knew it. After i finished my plan and thought more about it, i knew.
So mom tried to make me feel better by going to the nail and spa place. I got a manicure and pedicure, and mom did too. We spent like $200. It rocked. I did cheer up. And what's cool is that with my new bio organic gel nails, i don't need a refill for 4 weeks. And they are so much better for your nails. I had never even heard about them in the States, i wonder if they'll have it. Lol. I love Lan. She's my "nail specialist". She rocks!
I'm doing a special project for Lan this week. I'm gonna go and get some t-shirts made to advertise her business. I was joking around with her, she liked the idea, so i decided to do it. Yay. At least it gives me something to occupy my time this week. Lol. And she said she'd pay me. Yay. Maybe i should be a designer. Yea right. Lol.
While at the spa, Mike went out and was looking for cars. He found a Honda Civic. Pretty cool from what i hear. So i'll have to check it out i guess. Hey, if it gets me a car then whateva, right? And Mike said it was only like $3,000 so we'll see how it goes. But i'm so ready to go right now. I'm being lied to. And being blamed for the way my mom acts. And the rumor in the family. I don't like it here right now. I wanna go home now. And so i shall. Mommie and i basically booked a flight home for us in 2 weeks. If i don't have a car, then we shall be flying, but if i do, then we shall be driving by that day. And that's a damn promise. Well Canadia, i hope you've enjoyed my visit. You shall not have another for a long time, if ever again.... | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment  |
| So yea. Nothing new going on here. I still can't sleep at night and don't wake up til noon. Still bored here. Might do something tomorrow with the guy upstairs, but not sure what we're gonna do. I dunno. But yea. I dyed my hair a lighter shade of blonde. It's almost platinum blonde...but it needs to be done again. I like it. But i dunno. I got really bored so i did it. And its getting so long. Yay.
Still hoping for a car. Hoping and praying. But trying not to get my hopes up. Lol. Kinda hard to do both. But blah.
I miss my home and family. I find myself listening to country music for some reason. Kinda reminds me of my family i guess.
Also had a weird dream the other night. I had a baby. A boy. My mom delivered my baby. It was just me and her in the hospital room. We were all alone. So weird. Dunno...i think i'm so bored i'm losin it. | comments: Leave a comment  |
| Yea, so boring day. Didn't do anything really. watched tv with mom and then showered and walked up to the drugstore. Bought new shampoo for my greasy hair. Yea, funny story involving not so hot oil treatment. And bought tons of junk food. Also bought hair dye. Yay. Gonna go a lighter shade of blonde. Besides, my roots are about 6 inches long and brownish. Looks funny.
Well, i found out about my 2001 red Tiburon. Not getting it. Guy wants $3500. down and we don't have it saved. Yay. So happy. But alternative is 2000 blue Tiburon. And a 1997 black one, but no to the 97. Ugly front end. But yes to the 2000. Hope i don't get my hopes up for this one! I always tend to do that. I ask for a favor (from above) and i get shut down. I know better than to get ahead of myself like that. But i always do it anyway. This sucks. Next one please. Hopefully this one will go through. I'll ask for help again. Blah.
Miss my home. So does Mommie. She's sad. So am I. We REALLY want to go home now. | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment  |
| Okay. So i promised an update since i haven't done one in a while.
So i'm still in Canadia. Its okay here, kinda hott, but cool. I'm so ready to go home tho. Wherever that is...lol. But in the meantime, i sit arpound all day and night not doing a thing. I usually can't sleep so i stay up til 5-7am and then go to sleep only to get up between 12 and 2pm. Boring. But soon, hopefully by the end of this week i'll know if i get my car or not. I'm so crossing my fingers and everything. I really need this car. Blake said i'm supposed to be getting nothing but good things from now on!
I talked to Ashley today. I so miss her! I haven't seen her in so long. I can't wait to get to NC and see her, AJ, and her beautiful baby boys! Yay! I'm coming back Ashley! I told you i would, it just took a few years to get there. Lol. Sorry! But soon i'll be there. And we'll hang out and have fun and play with your boys!! Yay. Soon honey, soon!
I finally finished my book, Flags of our Fathers. It was really depressing. So much death. But all in all, a great book. Glad i got it. Thanks Blake, you got me the second book! I love you! Now i'm onto another depressing book. Yay! Its called Holocaust A History by Deborah Dwork and Robert Jan van Pelt. Its 386 pages with very small print...lol..yea!
I've got a lot to do from here on out. I hope i get can get it all done. I'm so excited and so nervous at the same time. Eeeek! I dunno. I just gotta motivate myself. I can go through with all this! If i go through with my plan, i can definitely make myself a better life. And thats what i want. Really.
I miss everyone. And the familiarity of everything. I miss Florida, Georgia, North Carolina, and Delaware. i miss belonging to something. I feel alone. But i jus wish i could just stay in one pleace and stop leaving whenever i get comfortable. Soon. I will have a life that suits me, and my dreams will come true. One day... | comments: Leave a comment  |
| | Subject: | Blah... | | Time: | 01:06 am | | Current Mood: | lonely |
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| | Okay. So i'll replace this with a complete update on my boring life tomorrow! Promise! | comments: Leave a comment  |
| Went to the zoo for a couple hours. It was cool, but i wish we'd have had more time there. We'll soon be leaving here....hopefully. Was bored so here....
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| | Okay so i was supposed to go to the zoo tomorrow, well today. No luck. Gotta go to the Bar-B-Que tomorrow with Diane, Cecile, Mike, Coday, and Mom. Poo. i really wanted to go see the Llamas. Oh well, maybe next weekend. I didn't do much this week besides sit at home and watch the Sci-Fi channel. It's my fave channel these days. Mom and i went to the mall and did some shopping, but it was mostly for her. I got 2 shirts. Yay! They're cute. But today we didn't really do anything except get our nails done. And last week i got my first pedicure. Someone actually touched my feet. OMG! I was so freaked out the entire time. And i wore open-toed shoes. This is madness! Ahh! So i'm bored once again. Still no car yet....waiting....waiting. Growing impatient. Sadness becomes me more and more each day i'm not with my family. It sucks. I really want to go home like right now. Dont' know if i can make it to the 15th... | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment  |
| So it's Memorial Day! Yay! To all the soldiers and people who have given their lives, thank you. You have given us what we have today, our freedom, and a love for our country. Because of your bravery and extreme dedication we are still here. You will never be forgotten. Yay! I love you all!
Okay. So i went out and bought the first book by James Bradley (Blake gave me the second one, but i loved it! Thanks sweetie!) called Flags of Our Fathers. It's about the flag raising on Iwo Jima. The picture of that flag raising is one of the most famous pictures of our history. Not many people know that the famous picture of the flag raising was actually a picture of a second flag raising. The first one was a much smaller flag that belonged to the Marines squadron on Iwo Jima so the Generals decided that the flag should be given to the marines and another, bigger one replace it. So another group of men, the ones in the famous photo, got a bigger flag and raised it simultaneously while the other smaller one was being taken down. Okay class, we're done our history lesson for today. But i thought since it was Memorial Day i might do something pertaining the the holiday.
Well on today's note. It was boring. Mom woke me up at 1pm. I got up and watched tv. Thats it. Got bored and got on the computer. Then Later Mom and i went for a walk. Than came back and played a card game called phase 10. Pretty much like a mixture of rummey and uno. Pretty cool. Think we're going to go to the zoo this weekend and some mini golf. YAY! I'm going to the ZOO!! That's so awesome! I'm so excited! Okay, well i'm still hoping to get this car soon. Still crossing my fingers! Better be before Mom and i want to leave.
Well, i miss my family more and more each day. I just hope i can go back and not have to worry about so much. That i can go back and hang out with my cousins and get to know them again. I don't want to lose them again... | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment  |
| Okay so it's Friday. Wow. That sucks. Umm, well yesterday Mom and i went and saw Monster In-Law at the AMC 20 here in Canadia. It was cute. But i really wanted to see Star Wars. No time though. Since we have no car, it sucks trying to get around. Mike usually works during the week and needs his car and then we have to ask Diane if we can drop her off at work and use her van. Grrr. completley sucks. But its the only thing we've got right now. Still don't have my car yet. But soon, hopefully. Yea, so Mom and i both want to go home now. I mean, i just feel so alone here it's rediculous. I just have my Mom. And thats cool and all, but we both miss our families.
And for once in my life, having been on "vacation" since February, i want a job. Or at least something to do during the day. I'm soo Bored! It's awful! I need something to occupy my time! i just sit around all day and eat, sleep, and watch tv. It really sucks. At least when i had a job, i got paid, and got to do something. I dunno. I just wanna go home...
And i don't even know why i write in this stupid journal. No one even reads it anymore. Its just like i said, when i leave somewhere, i am forgotten. Looks like i will die with my worst fear intact. I will be forgotten..... | comments: 6 comments or Leave a comment  |
| Okay. So I'm way determined to get my life back on track. I have to. I am not nor will i ever be a failure! I just can't fail. So i've just got to get my head together. I can do this. It's just a lot of hard work. But i will benefit from it! No procrastination! I am intelligent! I just play dumb really well. I think i might need some help staying on track though...
PS. I really miss my friends...and family. :( | comments: Leave a comment  |
| So i've been sitting here thinking about my life right now. It seems everytime i have a decent plan put together for myself something comes and knocks it all out. So now that i've realized its time for a new plan, i've been trying to come up with one. And so far, i think it might do me well. So here goes:
I know what i want to do with my life. I want to be an astronaut. Not just go to the moon. But i want to be a pilot and a scientist. I want the package NASA deal. I want to be known after i die, not just by my family and friends, but strangers. I want some person years from now to know that i did something to help others and to further the education and information of others.
Okay. So here's the new plan(s):
Mom says we're going to still move to North Carolina. So if that happens, then this will work.
(1.) I will attend Central Piedmont Community College (CPCC) to finish my diploma. They have the Adult High School Program there and it's free, exceept for my textbooks. And if i work hard, i can be done within 8 weeks i believe. Maybe longer. But i will survive and stick with it. It will be done! As i go to school, i will not need a job and in my free time will be working towards my pilots license. Afterwards, if i want to stay in North Carolina, i will apply to North Carolina State University. Of course after i take the SAT's and the ACT. Which i will do incredibly well on. And get a grant and/or a scholarship. If i do not get in to NC State, i will be applying to the Georgia Institute of Technology in Atlanta Georgia, Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University in Daytona Beach Florida, and the University of Florida in Gainesville Florida. Just to name a few. My major will be Aerospace, aeronautical and astronautical engineering. Maybe during or after college, and after i get my pilots license, i will join the Air Force and get the military training that will benefit my career.
If we don't move to North Carolina then i will stay in Georgia.
(2.) I will find a way to either get my GED or diploma (working on the details now). Then i will attend a community college that will allow me to study my major, and then i will transfer to the Georgia Institute of Technology and earn my degree there.
I'm still working on my second plan, but hope that the first won't fall through. All i have to say is this will work, if i am determined enough, i will find a way to make this work. I won't change my life around for anyone else or any stupid circumstances anymore. I will achieve my dreams! Even if i die trying! | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment  |
| | Okay. So no Niagara Falls yet. But thats okay. Well, we did do some light shopping though. Got a few things like a cute little sweat suit, and some white tank tops that were much needed. And a few unmentionables. Lol. We also went to Mike's friends car lot. So he's going to an auction on Tuesday. And he's going to see what kinda car he can find for me. I gave him a list of a few cars that i like and he said he'd see what he could find. I listed a Tiburon (of course), a Honda Civic, an Acura Integra, and a Mitsubishi Eclipse. He said he could probably get me a Tiburon. But if he doesn't find something that i like, then Mike, Mom, and I are going to go to an auction at the end of the month. But yea, during the week it gets kinda boring. So i think tomorrow we're going to go see how much it would be for us to tan for a week or two. So i dunno. I really don't have a lot to write in here lately. It kinda sucks. But i guess i'm gonna go pray for a car, hopefully a Tiburon. Lol. More later. | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment  |
| | Okay. So i'm sitting here watching tv with my mom, diane, and cody. I'm kinda bored. But all is well. Mom and i went shopping yesterday. I've never spent so much on clothes. I got 2 pairs of jeans and 2 shirts for around $300! It was insane. But i got to spend time with my mom and it was awesome. I've really missed her and the good times we used to have. I'm glad i'm here to see her, until i have to leave again. But hopefully it will last and she won't get tired of me. Hmm. Yea, so i also got a leather OCC jacket. It's so cool. And hopefully by the end of the month i'll have a car. We were talking about it and mike's friend own a lot and so i get to go look and hopefully find one i like. I also got my nails done. They're the best i've ever had them. And God help me, i'm going to get a pedicure! Haha. I'm scared. Mom said that we might go see Niagara Falls this weekend...we're only like 1-2 hours away. It's cool. It was cold yesterday, but its been pretty nice since i got here. Mike's mom is teaching me some french. She's really nice and apparently has taken pretty well to me. Yay. i strive to be a better person, ya know, nice and someone you can talk to and not be afraid of. At least now i am trying. But i think i'm going to go for now. Gotta think about some things... | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment  |
| Okie dokie eh. I'm in the nice but chilly Canadia now. My plane got in at 10am this morning in Buffalo, New York. Then Mom and Diane came and picked me up and we crossed the border into Red Leaf land. So far its pretty much the same as the states, McDonalds and Starbucks and the such. It's actually kinda warm here too. I'm glad i'm here. I get to experience new things with new people. And i get to be with my mom. I didn't really understand how much i had missed her until i saw her drive up to the airport and come running towards me. I was so happy. On the way to the house i couldn't stop talking, i just wanted to tell her everything. It was like we had been away from eachother for years. But now i'm happy to have my mommie back...
PS. I hope i see some moose, eh! (hehe, practicing my canadian talk...) | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment  |
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